The Marriage War and Peace Blog

Today’s Topic: Using the Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! Technique When Dealing With Sibling Discord.

Within the tapestry of family bonds lies the lifelong sibling relationship of kinship, support, and camaraderie. Yet, for most of us, beneath this surface of shared histories simmers an accumulation of misunderstandings and lingering conflict that can vent in present-day sibling disharmony.

When arguments happen, and you don’t have an effective way to deal with them, your relationship becomes strained, making it difficult to communicate openly and honestly.

When things heat up between you and your siblings, and you know they will . . .  use the 'Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby!' Technique.

If this is your first time reading our Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! mini-series, you’ll want to get up to speed on this unique technique by reading about it here — it saved my marriage! 

How to 'Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby!' with Your Siblings

1. Stop fueling the flames.
   
   It doesn’t matter what you’re arguing about or who started it. What matters is that you stop fueling the flames.
   
   Stop arguing your point. Stop trying to ‘make’ your sibling see and agree with your perspective.
   
   Stop feeding the fire by saying with warmth in your voice and love in your heart:
   
   “I see we’re butting heads, and I don’t want to do that with you. Let’s take a break and come back in a little while to talk things over.”
   
   Then, walk away from the conversation. 
   
   

2. Drop sibling expectations.
   
   To avoid further hurt, drop any need for having your sibling agree with what you’re saying, apologize for what they’ve done, or fix your hurt feelings.
   
   Use your time away to reflect on what triggered you (not who). And what hurt piece of you needs your attention.
   
   

3. Roll into self-care and love mode.
   
   Deprive the argument of oxygen by engaging in self-nurturing activities.
   
   Some people like to go for a walk, swim laps, or play with their grandkids. Others like journaling their feelings, painting, sketching, or pulling Angel cards for clarity and inner calm.
   
   
   Click here for my favorite angel card deck by Kyle Gray called "The Angel Guide Oracle: A 44-Card Deck and Guidebook.

One of my favorite things to do is draw a warm bath, light scented candles, cue-up my favorite play list, and soak in bubble-bath bliss.

All it takes is one person in the relationship to the 'Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby!' technique to smother the flames. Then, when it’s time, you’ll return to the conversation feeling inner-centered, emotionally balanced, and ready to invite conversation. I believe in you! Try it out and let me know how it goes.