Today’s Topic: Dealing with Holiday Gatherings.

Welcome to the holiday season — that whirlwind of gift-giving, shopping, parties, and activities that begins right after Halloween, builds to Thanksgiving, and continues gaining momentum through the end of the year.

Holiday gatherings are designed to bring family together in the spirit of love and togetherness. However, this time of year is fraught with stress and family disagreements for many.

When things heat up during your holiday gatherings, and you know they will . . .  stop, drop, and roll, baby!

If this is your first time reading the 'Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! ' technique mini-series, you’ll want to get up to speed on this unique technique by reading about it here — it saved my marriage! 

How to Use The 'Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! Technique With Your Siblings

1. Stop fueling the flames.
   
   It doesn’t matter what you’re arguing about or which family member started it. What matters is that you stop fueling the flames.
   
   Stop arguing your point. Stop trying to ‘make’ someone see and agree with your point of view. 
   
   Stop feeding the fire by saying with warmth in your voice and love in your heart:
   
   “I see we’re butting heads, and I don’t want to do that with you. Let’s take a break and come back to talk things over in 10 or 20 minutes.”
   
   Then walk away from the conversation. *
   
   

2. Drop expectations.
   
   To avoid further hurt, drop any need for having the person you’re butting heads with to apologize for what they’ve done, or fix anything.
   
   Use your time away to reflect on what triggered you (not who). And be with that hurt piece that needs attention.
   
   

3. Roll into self-care and love mode.
   
   Deprive the argument of oxygen by engaging in self-nurturing activities.
   
   Especially during holiday gatherings, it’s easy to step outside to take a walk. Or excuse yourself from the table and go to another room where you can journal and process your feelings.

* Don't push for reconciliation if you or the person you’re arguing with isn’t ready to talk; indicate by saying:

“I’m still upset and need some more time to calm down. Let’s talk about this tomorrow at _____ (specific time).”

This holiday season, all it takes is one person to use the 'Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby!' technique to smother the flames of conflict at family gatherings, allowing the true purpose of these gatherings to shine through – love and togetherness.

You got this!