Welcome to our Marriage War and Peace blog for November!

As the year winds down, families have a natural opportunity to pause, look back, and gather the wisdom of the months behind them. Reflection isn’t about perfection or reliving regrets—it’s about noticing growth, celebrating wins (big and small), and carrying the lessons learned into the year ahead.

When families reflect together, something special happens. Stories are shared, laughter bubbles up, and even hard moments gain meaning. Children feel heard, parents gain insight, and everyone strengthens their sense of belonging.

In this month’s article, we’ll focus on:

• A Thanksgiving Reflection: Looking Back to Move Forward

• 6 Family Reflection Activities

• The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters

A Thanksgiving Reflection: Looking Back to Move Forward

The first two decades of my marriage went by in a blur. My battle-weary marriage was marked by painful moments, broken up by brief pockets of peace. Back then, reflection wasn’t part of my vocabulary—survival was.

But everything changes when the foundation of your marriage starts to feel solid.

Reflection has become something I now crave, especially as a family. One of my favorite rituals with Shahriar and Clara is revisiting moments from earlier in the year that felt tense or vulnerable. We talk about what we learned, and then I ask, “Knowing what you know now, what would you tell your younger self?”

Clara always surprises me. She talks to her younger self like a wise, confident big sister—loving but firm. Over time, these conversations have shown us something simple but profound: looking back together helps us move forward together.

I’ll never forget last year’s missed Thanksgiving. It wasn’t dramatic—just quiet. But it left a hollow space I didn’t realize was there until it echoed. That was the moment we decided things would be different. We started planning early, not out of obligation, but out of a desire to create something meaningful together.

Yet, our biggest shift came from something small: returning to family dinners at the table and playing the “Highs, Lows, and Lessons” game (#3 on this month’s list). It’s not fancy, but the impact has been remarkable. Those little conversations have become a thread that stitches us closer.

As Thanksgiving approaches, maybe give it a try. One meal. One conversation. One reflection. That’s how gratitude grows, stories deepen, and family bonds take root.

6 Family Reflection Activities

Before the holiday rush sweeps you away, take a moment to pause and be present together. Thanksgiving is a beautiful invitation to slow down, reflect on the year with gratitude, and notice the quiet lessons tucked inside everyday moments. Here are six meaningful activities to help you begin that reflection and celebrate the season with those you love:

1. Year-in-Review Dinner

Host a cozy meal dinner where each family member shares their favorite memory, biggest challenge, and proudest accomplishment of the year.

2. Gratitude Jar

Set out a jar and small slips of paper. Throughout the month, everyone adds notes of gratitude or lessons learned. Open and read them together on the last day of November.

3. Highs, Lows, and Lessons Game

Go around the table and have each person share a high point, a low point, and a lesson from the year. Simple, meaningful, and a great conversation starter.

4. Family Timeline Wall—This is a really fun one!

Create a visual timeline on a poster board or wall using photos, ticket stubs, or drawings to highlight the year’s events. Talk about the story those moments tell at your year-in-review dinner.

5. Future Intentions Circle

Sit in a circle and share one intention, goal, or dream for the coming year. Write them down and display them on your family timeline wall.

6. Letters to Your Future Selves

Each person writes a letter to their future self, sealing it in an envelope to be opened next year. Younger kids can draw pictures if writing feels daunting.

Choose one or two to start or make a whole evening of it. The goal is connection, not perfection.

Helpful Resource

The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters by Priya Parker

This thoughtful guide explores how to create gatherings that foster real connection—whether it’s a family reflection night, a holiday dinner, or a casual weekend meal. Her insights will help your family turn year-end reflections into meaningful traditions and carry those connections into the year ahead.

Share Your Insights

Family reflection looks different in every household, and your ideas might spark inspiration for someone else. How does your family pause to look back on the year? Do you have a favorite tradition, prompt, or ritual that helps you move forward together? Share your thoughts in the comments below so we can learn from each other and celebrate the many ways families honor their journey.

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