How do I stop dragging last year’s resentment into the New Year?

Welcome to our Marriage War and Peace blog for January!
With Veronica L. Nabizadeh

Here is The Marriage War and Peace Blog—your monthly dose of real talk, relationship insight, and peaceful, purposeful action to help you create the marriage (and life) rooted in clarity rather than chaos.

A new year offers something rare:

· A pause

· A threshold

· A moment to choose differently

Take a breath and ask yourself:

What energy do I want to bring into my marriage this year?

And what energy am I ready to stop carrying?

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From The Battle-Weary Wife’s Deck of Strength and Wisdom

By turning your marriage into a spiritual practice.

Most couples don’t enter the New Year with a clean slate—they enter with the same argument patterns, the same triggers, the same unspoken expectations that quietly weigh down the relationship.

In Chapter 6 of my book, I explain this truth:

Marriage becomes a spiritual practice the moment you stop trying to fix the other person and focus on transforming the energy you bring to the relationship.

Resentment is, at its core, a boundary that needed attention but was left unattended. Resentment forms when:

· A need goes unspoken

· A hurt goes untended

· You keep setting yourself on fire to keep the relationship warm

Psychology Today describes resentment as “a strange, complex emotion. It can sneak up on you and then linger and gnaw—for some constantly, forever, becoming the stuff of the unforgivable, unforgettable grudge.”

So, the real question becomes: What truth inside you has been waiting to be honored?

How to Set the Tone for A New Year reframe:

Instead of “How do I stop feeling resentful?” ask: What am I ready to stop carrying into 2026—and what am I ready to honor?

This is where my Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby!® technique comes in:

· STOP reacting, defending, or replaying old hurts.

· DROP into your body, your breath, your truth—not the story you’ve told yourself about your partner.

· ROLL into self-love and self-care so you can find what’s needing to be honored.

This is how resentment loosens its grip. One conscious choice at a time. And suddenly, the New Year becomes truly new.

This Month’s Peace Practice

The 5-Minute New Year Reset

1. Place a hand on your heart.

2. Inhale slowly for 4 counts. Exhale for 6.

3. Whisper: “Peace is more powerful than proving my point.” (Card #45: Peace Over Proof)

From The Battle-Weary Wife’s Deck of Strength and Wisdom

4. Ask your body: “What am I ready to release?”

5. Then ask: “What energy do I want to bring forward?”

Do this once a day for 7 days. You’ll feel your resentment dissolve and peace return.